Old AF: 10 signs middle age is just around the corner

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I'm not the biggest fan of birthdays. Yep, I said it and I know it's kind of a strange thing to say and a strange thing to think and I only bring it up because well, it is my birthday and so of course I'm thinking about it. (Plus, I'm the birthday girl so I do what I want! Ha. Kidding.) I should probably clarify though, I really enjoy celebrating other people's birthdays! It's just my own I get weird about. Every year -for whatever reason- this is when when my mind turns to annoyingly serious topics like assessing where I'm at in life and contemplating aging and my own mortality and my (basically non-existent) relationship with my mom. Super uplifting stuff, right? But whatever, I'm pretty much out of the funk now (it didn't hurt that I picked up a shift last night and my partner showed up with a chocolate mousse cake and then bought me ice-cream. Sugar wins the day every time as far as I'm concerned!) 

So now I'm ready to put all those obnoxiously serious and slightly depressing thoughts back into their little box until next year, and celebrate with a rare date-night with the husband. (And also by poking fun at myself and this whole getting-older nonsense because that's kind of my jam.)  

Old AF: 10 Signs Middle Age is just around the corner

(And I'm right there with you!)

1. You can measure the ownership of at least one item in your closet in terms of decades, rather than months or years. 

2. At least one body part hurts any time the weather changes.

3. Most make that all of your current skincare products contain the words "wrinkle" or "anti-aging" somewhere on the bottle.

my current fave cleanser

4. You congratulate yourself for staying up past 10pm, and feel like a boss if you make it to midnight.

5. You no longer mind getting carded for alcohol. When it happens. Which is almost never.

6. You've lived long enough to see the return of trends that were pretty terrible on their first go-round and haven't gotten any better with time (I'm looking at you snap-crotch bodysuits and high waisted jeans.)

7. Speaking of trends, you now have to choose carefully. A 20 year old may be able to rock the granny sandal look, but when you try them on the vibe is more, "Hey, check out my new orthopedics!"


8. You rock out to one of your favorite songs from high school or college and then realize the radio is actually on an oldies station. (And yes, this happened to me the other day with Nirvana. Yikes!)

9. You know precisely how many units of Botox (38) you need to keep you looking like a fresh-faced 20-something. (Downside: feeling like Cinderella at the ball at midnight when the effects finally wear off and all your little lines come back to say hello!)

Who needs a filter when you've got a little Botulinum Toxin?!

And last, but certainly not least:

10. You catch yourself looking around at your coworkers and making a mental tally of how many are young enough to "be my kids." (Hint: the answer is around 25% for me. Lol)

How do you feel about your birthday? Have any of the "signs" of middle age hit you yet? :-)


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