Everything's Irie on The Bachelor....or is it?

We're down to the final 3 ladies on this week's Bachelor, which takes us to the birthplace of reggae. I'm talking 'bout Jamaica, mon!

Anybody else remember the best Jamaican bobsled team of all time?!

Caila has the first date with Ben this week and they start with a little river rafting. Not like class 5 rapids whitewater rafting or anything,  more of a Huck Fin (minus the racism) gentle poling down the lazy river on a wooden raft type of vibe.

So any who, there they are floating romantically through the jungle and Caila goes total radio silence. Ben makes a few attempts at conversation which mostly go like this: "Are you excited?" "Yeah, I'm excited." "Are you okay?" "Yeah, I'm okay." And then we all enjoy the sound of crickets. It's riveting, I tell you. 

Next the two lovebirds have a romantic dinner on the beach and Ben wants to talk about the day and how different Caila seemed on their date earlier. Caila thinks its funny that Ben noticed she was being "weird" (Let's be real, their date was awkward AF. How could he not notice?) and likes being "called out" for it. She decides its finally time to reveal that she's actually in love with Ben and really just anxious, which buys her a trip to the fantasy suite. 

We get a shot of the two having breakfast in bed the next morning, where Caila appears to be  fresh from a Brazilian blowout with her makeup perfectly applied. Ben wants to know if she always wakes up looking so beautiful. No one wakes up looking that good Ben. No one.  

Now it's time for Lauen's big date, and she informs us that she's been feeling feelings and wants to get them off her chest. But first, Lauren and Ben have a job to do and they head to a sea turtle rescue to give baby sea turtles a bath and set them free in the ocean. Now, I kind of want to poke fun at this date and how serious Ben is about it (praying over the turtles? Really?) But I'll go easy because those tiny little critters are really stinking cute. 

After the turtles are sent on their journey to find love to the ocean for all the right reasons (see what I did there?) Ben and Lauren have a serious talk on the beach. Ben feels Lauren is too good for him. Lauren feel Ben is too good for her. They make out. There are rainbows. (Of course there are rainbows.)

When the fantasy suite date card arrives after dinner Ben gives Lauren his best come-hither bedroom eyes, just in case she was thinking of saying no. 

Alone with the camera crew in their "privacy" of their suite, Lauren finally tells Ben that she loves him and he responds that he's been in love with her for awhile. (Uh oh...with two other ladies still in the picture I smell trouble brewing.)

Jojo's date starts with yet another helicopter ride. (Why does Jojo get all the helicopters? Is she tired of them yet?) 

Following the helicopter tour, they hike up to a gorgeous waterfall and I have to tell you guys, I freaking love Jojo's bikini. I also love waterfalls, so this is basically my favorite date so far. They swim, they make out, they jump off a really high-looking ledge and then Jojo decides it's her turn to woman-up and drop the L bomb. She knows Ben can't say it back, and she's okay with that. Except...he does. He tells Jojo he loves her. Oh shit. Didn't I tell you there was going to be trouble? 

So to recap our recap: Lauren is on cloud 9 because Ben has told her that he loves her, and Jojo is on cloud 9 because Ben has told her that he loves her, and Caila is on cloud 9 because Ben has told her with his eyes that he loves her, and this is obviously not going to end well for 50% of these people. And I kind of want to tell Ben: 

Love-Whore Island, that is.

Ben finally gets a day off from the stress of falling in love with all these gorgeous women and taking them on cool dates and he uses the down time to ponder his strategy for breaking hearts at the next rose ceremony. Meanwhile Caila, convinced they're just "two people who love each other and want to be together" hitches a ride to Ben's hotel to show him how fun and full of surprises she is. Unfortunately Ben is the one full of surprises when he tells her he's in love with two people and she's not one of them. He just can't "get there" with Caila, you know? Ouch. Your eyes lied, Ben!

We're left with Lauren and Jojo at the rose ceremony and Ben tells us he can see a future married to each of them. Is this foreshadowing? Is there a Bachelor/Sister Wives spinoff in the works? We'll have to wait 2 weeks for the dramatic finale. In the meantime, looking forward to some good tell-all drama next week.

Until next time, Bachelor Nation! Likkle muore! 


  1. Lol! I'm team Lauren all the way! :)

    1. I admit, I am too. She may not make for the most dramatic TV, but she seems like someone you could easily be friends with IRL. And she does seem like a good fit for Ben :-)


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