Vive Mexico! (Bachelor notes)

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Being on the mend, obviously one of the first things I needed to do today was catch up on Monday's Bachelor (duh!) So, let's get into this week's highlights. Monday's episode takes place in luxurious, exotic...Mexico City? Ok, then.

First off, for his one on one date with Amanda, Ben decides it would be a fabulous idea to wake all the girls up at 430 in the morning, with a camera crew in tow ready to film all the glamorous bed head/no makeup/weave-draped-over-nightstand situations. Great thinking, Ben!  I'm sure all the girls were as thrilled as Lauren H who quickly tried to pop out her retainer: "Thish ish how the guy that I'm competing with 11 other women for shaw me thish morning!?" Not just Ben, Lauren H. Not just Ben. 

Ben takes Amanda on a hot air balloon ride, a refreshing departure from the standard convertible/helicopter routine. Over dinner Amanda tells Ben about her kids and her divorce and it's sad and Ben gets all choked up and I cry because having Madi has turned me into a mushball.

This week's group date starts off with a really unique adventure you could only have in Mexico City a Spanish class. Whomp whomp. The girls get their Espanol on (of course Olivia already "knows Spanish." Not.) and then one by one go up to the front of the class where Ben repeats basically the same lines for each girl: "I'm falling in love with you. I want to kiss you. I love you."  Everyone is swooning according to plan until Jubilee gets called up and she's like nope, you've said that to the last four girls. Which is exactly what I would've been thinking. 

The group pairs off for part two of the date, a cooking challenge. Olivia immediately "claims" Ben, pissing off all the other girls, but especially Jubes who wanted Ben for herself and is clearly not pumped to be partnered with "lawn" Lauren. Everyone goes to the market where Olivia feeds Ben crickets and Ben makes Olivia eat some mint leaves. Subtle, Ben.

It's time for the food critiques and Jojo remarks, "I'm excited for the chefs to taste my taco! Ben already tasted my taco and he loved it!" ...and I'm just going to leave this one alone. Do these girls even know what they're saying half the time?

Olivia makes the executive decision to spice up her dish with a few insects because "people here love crickets." Wtf? The chefs didn't, apparently,  and Jubilee and Lauren win the challenge. Unfortunately, Jubilee's combined strategies of "playing hard to get" and "not enjoying group dates" cause Ben to suddenly rethink their future together and realize he's not into working that hard. 

Oh yeah, and Olivia gets the rose.

Ben and Lauren H have their one on one at "every girl's dream," Mexican fashion week. Can't say that's ever been a dream of mine, but eh, I guess it was a decent date. Ben was on the fence about this  particular Lauren (can't say I blame him after the chicken suit and puppet kissing awkwardness) but I think we can all agree that he is a sucker for a bad breakup story. As soon as Lauren opens up about hers...bam. Ben sees wifey material. And the date ends with a rose and a makeout sesh to the lovely strains of a...street harp?

At the cocktail party Olivia takes her amazing social skills to the next level by telling Amanda that talking about her daughters makes Olivia "feel like this is an episode of teen mom. You know, that show?" Good thing Oliva likes crickets, because that's what she got with this comment. I'm sure Amanda was like...

The show ends as everyone lines up for rose ceremony and Ben tells Olivia he needs to speak to her outside. The girls think this means Olivia is going home for being a biatch, but nah. I'm pretty sure she's sticking around, especially given that next week's previews seem to show every single girl in the house having a melt down. Good times. Until next week, Bachelor Nation!


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