Embracing the insecurities

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Can I be real for a second? I came to the blog today intending to write a post about some of my favorite hiking spots, but what's on my mind at the moment is something else entirely. 

Not to get all existential crisis-y but man, coming back to this business of blogging after two years away is harder than I thought it would be! Taylor at The Daily Tay had a good post today about the evolution of blogging, and it got me thinking. She's right, of course: things have changed over the years. I'm not sure I would really notice if I hadn't stepped away for so long (similar to the way I never notice my extra winter fluff until I try to zip up my skinny jeans haha) but it feels like blogging is becoming more of a competition than it used to be. It seems to be a little more difficult to make those connections that are such a great part of belonging to the blogging community. And it's flat out daunting to scroll through sites like Bloglovin and see the quantity of good blogs that are out there and wonder how my own little corner of the internet could ever measure up. 

Probably the hardest thing is to see that I've lost a few followers since I started writing again. My head tells me I shouldn't really care, because no one is holding a gun to my head to be here and I've never paid much attention to stats and "numbers." But I still can't help feeling that moment of  shame, wondering if I've unintentionally offended. 

I absolutely hate giving actual voice to some of my insecurities, especially since I come from a long line of stoic "never air your dirty laundry" types. But I came back to blogging fully intending to be true to myself in this space, and if that's really going to happen then I need to learn to embrace talking about the things that make me uncomfortable. Just like life, blogging is  not all sunshine, rainbows and The Bachelor.  And that's ok.  Maybe somewhere out there other bloggers of little blogs might be able to relate. I hope so! Isn't that what blogging is all about anyway? 

If you're new here -or still with me after all this time- thank you! You rock socks! And I'm sure my next post will be much cheerier :-) xoxo, Jenn





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