Ben plans the worst dates ever and Olivia makes it all awkward (Bachelor recap episode 4)

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You guys, it pains me to say this, but I did not love this week's episode. I thought Ben's dates were sub-par, and Olivia...well, you'll see. Let's dive into the recap!

This week's episode opens with the girls finding out they'll be meeting Ben in Vegas. They are excited. Actually, that's a severe understatement. The girls collectively freak out on the level that I would reserve for someone telling me I won the powerball or something. 

Maybe I'm just jaded from living an hours flight from Vegas? Either way, when Ben informed the cameras that "Vegas is a place people go to find love, " I was kinda like, huh. I thought Vegas was the place people go to gamble and get their drink on. Or you know, get married (guilty.) But a place to find love? Yeah, I don't know about that Ben.

Side note: I think the twins deserve a shout out this week for their epic treadmill workout. If I could get legs like theirs from strolling leisurely in the gym with my bff, I could take over the world. #KillinIt

JoJo was the first to receive a one on one date this week, where after the very first helicopter ride in Bachelor history (oh, wait) she and Ben got all dressed up for...dinner on the coffee table? Ben, Ben, Ben. No woman wants to get all dolled up just to stay in and try to somehow gracefully consume steak from her lap. 

During the dinner which was eaten by no one, JoJo opened up about her past by mentioning a recent failed relationship. When asked if her ex had cheated she neatly skirted the question by saying she just felt insecure because she "gave that one person everything and didn't get it back in return." Methinks JoJo may have a little undercover psycho girlfriend lurking beneath the "cool girl" surface. Not that I, personally, would know anything about that *cough cough.* They finished the date by taking some time to check out the "view," also known as "making out on the balcony." 

Ben was "nervous" for this week's group date which consisted of the girls putting on a talent show as  the opening act for Terry Fator and a huge crowd at the Mirage. Seriously? Who plans these dates? I realize nothing says soul-mates and romance better than providing a group of your potential-wifeys with a good dose of public humiliation, but come on. I can pretty much guarantee that in that situation I would  crap my pants, pass out and then die from heart failure. (Just to take the heat off the other girls, of course. Not because I'm a complete wuss.) 

Olivia's talent act took the cake (haha). No really, she actually jumped sort of climbed out of a cake and did the most uncomfortably awkward shimmy dance back and forth across the stage in a really ...feathery costume.  

After watching her act  I literally felt like I needed a drink. Unfortunately for me, what I didn't want to do was explain to the husband why I needed to open a bottle of zin before lunch, so I'm still perfectly sober. I kind of feel like my socks are egging me on, though...

Olivia continued her tragic downward spiral with a dramatic panic attack after the show, but totally redeemed herself by playing it cool at the afterparty. Just kidding. Mostly she followed Ben around, interrupting his conversations with the other girls and trying to extort a kiss with some awkward grimaces and finger snapping. Guys dig that, right? 

Ben mused about how shy and innocent Caila is, except when they're alone and she becomes a "sex panther." Rawr. Get some, girl!

Incidentally, Sex Panther is also the name of a cologne you can purchase on Amazon.

Becca received a wedding dress to wear for her one on one date this week. Jokes on you, Becca! You're not really getting married! Ben just wanted a really fancy way to invite you to spend the day officiating other people's weddings at one of those chapels on the strip. 

The twins got an impromptu date -at home- so Ben could kick one of them to the curb. Because it is apparently very, very stressful dating two beautiful women when they look the same. Too bad; they were growing on me! 

Someone named Jennifer (who??) got to Ben first at the cocktail party this week, while Olivia glared daggers for stepping on her turf.  She made sure to rush over and explain to Ben how she's totally not really insecure and how -even though she's never been alone with him for more than 30 seconds- she's definitely falling for him. 

Side note #2: I love a classy little black dress and Jubilee's was spot on this week! She didn't feature much in the episode, but I'm still #TeamJubilee.

At the rose ceremony, Olivia was convinced that she'd get a rose because she "read(s) a lot of romance novels where everything just comes together." Or something. For the second week in a row, she was dead last but only because she's "the best!" Duh!

Jennifer and Leah got roses. Seriously who are these people?

Amber and Rachel The Unemployed made the walk of shame. Nothing surprising there, although I was hoping for a little more goodbye-drama from Amber. 

That's about it you guys! The previews for next week tease Olivia saying "He's falling for amanda! I feel like this is an episode of team mom!" so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for better drama.  

Did you watch this week? What did you think?


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