Paleo tortillas are a lie, and Clay Aiken is running for Congress.

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Let someone else worry about world peace. I've got bigger fish to fry. Clearly.

Item one on today's agenda: Paleo tortillas. They are really gross. I know I've mentioned low-carb, primal-type dieting before on this blog. It's a bandwagon I've ridden with pleasure, and it's also a wagon I've fallen -and occasionally jumped- off of with an equal amount of guilty pleasure. Because while in my heart of hearts I fully believe it's one of the healthiest ways you can eat, sometimes I just want bread. And peanut butter M&Ms. And bread. And pasta. Is it glaringly obvious yet that I'm not exactly following a diet right now?? Unless you consider the "I'm pregnant and gaining weight anyway so don't call me out on my carbs cause I want 'em really bad" mentality a diet, then no. I'm not currently following a plan. 

The hubby, on the other hand, apparently doesn't think it's "cool" to gain "sympathy weight." Psh. Whatever. So he's currently doing a very slightly modified paleo diet, which is kind of like primal but a little more restrictive. (Personally I think taking away bread and M&Ms and pasta is restrictive enough, but that hubby...he's a little braver than I am.)  

As a good wife,  I'm doing my best to play Robin to his Batman (you know, supporting his endeavors but totally not being a hero).  So I've been combing Pinterest for dinner recipes that fit his eating bill. I meal a day...NBD, I can do that.  But night after night of similar meat/veggie meals can tend to get a wee bit tedious.  And by wee bit, I actually mean a lot. A couple of days ago though, viola! I discovered a recipe for "paleo tortillas!" The picture made them look amazeballs: light and fluffy while still being sturdy enough to do the job. The ingredients list sounded promising: lime juice? Cumin? Mmm. I might have drooled a little bit imagining a fresh batch of those tortillas piled high with spicy ground turkey with all the fixin's. And last night I attempted to make that fantasy a reality. And it sucked. My paleo "tortillas" were like very thin, very fragile paleo crepes. Definitely not capable of acting as heavenly little fried vehicles for taco goodness. And sadly, what they lacked in sturdiness they did not make up for with flavor. Which I would describe as salt-lick (If you ever had a pet bunny or hamster as a kid, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about with that one) with an oddly sweet aftertaste. I guess the moral of this story is, if it seems to good to be true then it probably is.  And that, my friends, is really the only point to this whole post. 

Also, did you hear that Clay Aiken is running for Congress? I read that on Yahoo News this morning while I was being "productive" at work. And I don't even know what to say except….no. 

**I would just like to mention for the record, that I attempted to salvage the tortilla/crepe debacle by covering them with ice-cream. Yep, still bad. And that is the true test. 

Nesting is a bitch.

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It really, really is. It is an evil, in-your-face, has a handful of your weave and won't let it go biatch. I used to hear the term "nesting" and envision some cute little pregnant lady stenciling her nursery or buying cute throw pillows for the living room couch. But it is So. Much. Worse than that. Coming home from a 10 hour shift in the office, what I really want to do is eat a stack of oreos and put my cankles up make a simple, healthy dinner and fall asleep early. On my days off...I want to get my relax on: play with my blog, watch crappy TV and enjoy the last few weeks of being responsible for no one but myself (okay, and Travis. He is a husband so clearly somewhat needy- love you babe! Lol) What my psychotic nesting-brain dictates, unfortunately, is another story completely.

Let me elaborate: one of my first nesting issues came about after spending an unpardonable amount of time online tracking down the absolute perfect pink and gray ruffled crib skirt. (Because once I learned that crib skirts are a "thing" you better believe I became obsessed with finding the most perfect crib skirt ever made, ever.) Turns out the most-perfect-crib-skirt-ever-made costs 150 buckaroos. This mama is not spending that kind of scratch on an outfit for a piece of furniture. Here's where the pregnancy hormones really take over: "Make your own!" my nesting-brain says. "It'll be fun!" So, off to Joann's in the middle of rush hour traffic, because obviously the project must be started immediately. And 10 back-aching, not-fun hours of pinning/stitching/ruffling/screwing up and starting over later I had myself a frilly little crib skirt. The results were actually pretty gratifying. But...10 hours, you guys! And then I decided I really must make a coordinating window valance. And there was just enough fabric left for a pillow....Exhausting, I tell you.

Aaaand then my mother in law came over for a visit. She suggested we do some antiquing, which somehow ended up giving birth to a whole other weird obsession: milk glass. I makes me "WTF" too. But the thing is, our initial venture produced the cutest little antique wall cabinet for the nursery. And I decided such a pretty cabinet needed a couple pretty knick-knacks, and that those "knick-knacks" specifically had to be little decorative boxes made of milk glass. Had to be. Nothing else would do (and it seemed so reasonable at the time!)  There went another weekend as I scrutinized every last inch of just about every antique store within driving distance, managing to find not one, but two lovely milk glass boxes (for the win.)  I'm actually shaking my head as I type this, because I'm pretty sure I've been body-snatched, and that there is now an alien living inside my head.

Of course, on top of all my little "projects," the nursery had to be painted (the previous owners apparently thought fluorescent blue -with cow accents, mind you!- made a stellar room color choice...just, no.) the furniture assembled, the carseat chosen and on ad infinitum.

But now that we're nearly ready for our little one (and the pantry has been organized and the carpet cleaner called and the baseboards scrubbed and the master bedroom re-done) I think I can finally chill for a few minutes and gain some perspective. And maybe take a breath and catch up on The Bachelor, dammit. are you guys doing? Lol

Oh and btw, if you happen to find yourself with 10 or so spare hours and wanting to make your own crib skirt, here is the awesome tutorial I used for inspiration:
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