the slow death of hope

I feel like I spend an awful lot of time at the DMV. Realistically, between renewing my car registration, driver's license, ambulance driver's license and required physical exam paperwork I'm still probably in here less than once a year. Somehow my visits always manage to stand out! In fact, I'm here right now attempting to drop off some paperwork, and I'm having such a great time I just can't resist sharing my experience with you! 

Now, I don't know how things are in your state/city but here in good old northern California the DMV is a real treat. Today for example there are at least 3 people working the counter, and only 57 or so people ahead of me in line! They are practically overstaffed! You go, state of budget cuts here! 

Fortunately -since it looks like I'll be hanging out for awhile- they've set up the waiting area with every eye to the comfort of the customer. The clusters of hard plastic chairs are seriously top of the line...very reminiscent of my first and second grade classroom. And like any good government agency, the DMV has taken our entertainment into consideration with rows of eye charts to peruse, fun facts everywhere (Did you know the O.C. has 2.5 million registered vehicles? Well, I'll be!) as well as a TV playing car insurance commercials en espanol (Citacions? Accidentes?? No problema!) My favorite thing about the DMV though,  is how inclusive they are. You don't need to dress to impress at this venue. Pajamas? Totally acceptable. Your most ragged pair of cutoff sweatshorts? Shake off the dirt -or not- and you'll fit right in! Bonus: taking a shower and using deodorant are completely optional. Everyone's welcome! If you have approximately 25 kids and no babysitter, you may have received a special invitation. If you speak German, Spanish or French as a first language and English as none of your languages, move directly to the front of the line! It's really no wonder that everyone -from employees to customers- are so happy to be here. I'm sure the woman yelling at the first window is just enthusiastically expressing her pleasure!  And the guy in the "Fu@$ you!" tee shirt is probably being ironic.

Are they calling my number?? But I've only been here for 2 hours! Thanks DMV, for another wonderful visit. Until next time!

Are you planning a visit to your local DMV? You may want to keep the following tips in mind:

1. Be serious. Attempts at humor are not acknowledged and/or appreciated in this environment.
2. Bring a book. (Just in case the eye charts and Spanish commercials start to bore you. Unlikely, I know.)
3. Regardless of transaction type, you should consider carting along every piece of documentation you've ever received: doctor's notes, marriage certificate, middle school report cards, etc. Someone will want to see them.
4. Take along some extra cash (lesson learned!) Why wait in line when you could bribe your way to the front??

Happy humpday chicas! Any tips for surviving your least favorite errands?


  1. This reminds me of a Jerry Seinfield quote where he says, "You have been to the DMV and you *still* want socialized healthcare?" I cannot help but laugh because the DMV is THE worst.

  2. I think you might like to move to U.K. cos we don't have DMV here. We apply for new, renew or update details by filling out the form and post it off. You get new licence by post. Lucky me cos I am from U.K.

  3. Birmingham, Alabama has notoriously bad DMV's as well. I once spent literally 8 hours in line... I read a whole book haha! They closed at 5:00pm and I got up to the counter at 4:58.. it was just sooo much fun!!!


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